Just A Little Test
by genericnamehere
Summary: Kink meme de-anon - the flipside of 8 Simple Rules. Australia has to get permission to date America. To do so, he must participate in weird Finnish events. And win. Is he up to the challenge?
1. Chapter 1

Just a Little Test 1

He wasn't sure when it happened. Suddenly the sky was never as blue in comparison to his eyes; the sun wasn't as warm as that smile could make him feel. The most innocent clap on the back left would leave a tingling sensation that traveled to the tips of every nerve and lingered for hours. An afternoon of video games followed by prawns and steaks on the barbie would leave him grinning like a shot fox for days.

Australia had developed a massive crush on America, and it was driving him insane.

It was interfering with his life! The casual flings he that had grown accustomed to were no longer enjoyable. It was ridiculous that even as he was showing just who could fill Mother Russia, he was worrying about what America could think if he found out. China's "happy endings?" Weren't. Not anymore. Not when it was too hard to imagine long, black locks as the choppy, wheat blond he wanted. He couldn't even get it up when roughhousing with Denmark took a turn for the sexy. Everything left him with a nagging sense of guilt.

"Well then just ask the bloke on a date and get it out of your system. I don't see why you have to bother me with it." England set the tea cup down in front of him. "Milk and sugar?"

Australia nodded, watching as England put the additions in his tea. "Well, I figured it would show I wasn't going for a quick root if I got permission from his older brother first, you know?" He blinked as England glowered, shoving the spoon back into the sugar roughly. "…What?"

"Why don't you go ask his new _papa_? Surely his permission is more important than mine. I only raised him. And fed him. And gave him everything he could ever want. See how he always repays me? 'Oh England, I want freedom after all. Oh England, Finland said he would be my papa, isn't that so great? I never had one before.' Bah!" England picked up his tea, only a slight wave in the liquid betrayed how tightly he was gripping the fragile cup.

Australia blinked a few times. He hadn't been expecting that. Well, okay. He might have expected America saying something careless without realizing that it would upset someone. It happened on a daily basis. He wasn't expecting England to be so upset about it. "….So I was thinking we should go pub hopping later and catch the footy game!" He'd have to hunt down Finland later. Right now, he had an older brother to distract.

Fortunately, later came in the form of a world meeting just a few days later. He'd left a note on top of Finland's folder to meet with him after the meeting. He didn't know if Finland acknowledged it at all. He'd gotten too distracted when America walked in, talking about his latest plan to stop global warming and save the polar bears. Even as everyone else shot down his ideas, Australia couldn't help but smile as he listened. He was just so adorable. He hadn't even noticed that he had a sesame seed from one of his Macca's burgers on the corner of his lip the entire time. Oh, how Australia wanted to just lick that off for him…

"Australia! You wanted to talk to me?" A hand dropped in front of Australia's face, drawing him out of his stupor. He looked around. The room was empty, except for Finland and himself. Sweden was standing by the door, waiting for his companion. He focused on Finland, who had taken the seat across from him. He was just always happy, wasn't he?

"Oh! Yeah. So, I hear that you're America's new Pop?"

Finland laughed a bit, nodding. "I told him that he could consider me one, if he wanted to. I didn't realize he'd take it so seriously. He even makes us come over for family dinners on every Sunday."

Australia nodded, smiling fondly. Would he get close enough to America to be invited to them, too? He supposed he would find out now. "…Well…I've been itching to ask America on a date for some time now…"

Finland nodded, smiling. "Oh, that's great. He talks about you all the time."

Australia smiled. That was encouraging. "Oh, so then I have your permission to ask him out?"

Finland's smile fell in lieu of a more serious expression. "Oh, you want my permission to do it? No, I can't give you that. It's no secret how much you get around. Normally, it'd be no big deal. Obviously. But America's different. He's my little boy, and despite being older than you, he's far more innocent. I can't let someone with your reputation hurt him after you get what you want. No, because then that comes back on me. I can't give my stamp of approval unless you can prove that you want more than a fling."

Australia's heart sank. It's not like he was some kind of trollop. He didn't get around more than any other nation! "…And how can I prove that?"

Finland smiled again, but there was something sinister in those normally innocent brown eyes. "How do you feel about participating in a competition or two?"


	2. Chapter 2

Just a Little Test 2

"So let me get this straight. You went to Finland, who has taken upon himself to defend the virtue of America, and he told you have to participate in his ridiculous events?"

Australia nodded, setting his beer on the bar. "Pretty much. So, you'll help me, right? I need teams for some of these things."

"Virtue? America? Ha! If he has any virtue in him at all, it's because I sent my Puritans over there that made him that way! The only virtue Finland has to defend is what I put there! Me!" Ice clattered against glass as the last of England's G&T was downed.

"Okay. I got it. This is a farce. But I still have to do it, so, if you could just help me get a team toge—" Australia was cut off by England grabbing his shirt, shaking him.

"I gave him the best years of my life! And what does he do? He throws it back in my face! Every. Single. Time!"

He was at a loss for words. Australia now understood why the others weren't particularly fond of drinking with England. He withdrew England's hands from his shirt and stood, throwing money on the bar.

"Barkeep! Call a cab to get him to the hotel, would ya? He's as pissed as a newt." He distracted England by pushing the rest of his beer into his hands and turned, heading out of the pub. Maybe that other guy, whose name he couldn't quite grasp at the moment, would help him. He spent a lot of time with America, didn't he?

Australia pulled out his cell phone, flipping through the numbers, stopping on an unfamiliar name: Canada? He shrugged and dialed.

"Hello?"

Australia grinned. "Hey Canada? It's Australia. You got a minute to talk? It's about Americ-" He blinked as he pulled the phone away from his ear. He must have dropped the call. He sighed, making his way back to the hotel. This whole thing was just stupid. How was getting five more people to together to throw snowballs, play footy in snowshoes, and sitting in a sauna indefinitely going to prove his intentions toward America? All it would show was that he was willing to make a total arse of himself for the chance to ask someone on a date that might turn him down anyway.

A tall man wearing a navy blue jacket bumped his shoulder as he walked by him, dropping a piece of paper into Australia's hand as he continued walking. Australia frowned as he turned watching him go. "Excuse you, too." He looked at the piece of paper in his hands. "Denmark, Iceland and Norway will be there to join your teams for the competitions. You should call Russia, and Canada? What is this?" He frowned, flipping over the sheet. It was a footy diagram. The others were labeled on it, along with himself in the goal. Australia looked up, trying to find who had bumped into him, but he was already gone.

"…Might as well give it a burl." He walked back into the hotel, redialing that Canada guy's number as he got onto the elevator. Just when he thought he was going to get voicemail, Canada answered.

"…I'm not responsible for anything America did to you." Australia blinked. Why would he call about anything like that?

"I take it you don't want to be on my team for a friendly game of footy in Finland, then?" There was silence on the other end for a moment.

"When is it?" Australia smiled. He was finally getting somewhere!

"This weekend, actually. After the meeting is over. It's one of Finland's crazy competitions. See, I have to win the game in order to get Finland's permission to ask America on a date. You were the first person I asked to be on my team!"

"I was?"

Australia smiled broadly, even though the other couldn't see it. Could it really be considered asking England first, if the other was too drunk to listen? "Well, yeah! You got all that snow all the time, don't you?" When he was met with confused silence, he realized the important detail he'd left out. "Did I mention it was snowshoe footy?"

"Oh…I get it. I suppose I can help you. But, Australia…Why did you ask Finland for permission? If anything, you'd call England, eh? He iis/i the one that spoiled him rotten as a child, smalleven at the expense of otherwise ignoring the existence of his obedient colonies./small"

Australia chuckled dryly as he walked to his room. "I'm still not sure how it all works out. Anyway. I still have to give Russia a call…" And he'd have to find a way to explain that he was doing everything to pursue a monogamous relationship with America, which meant no more random hookups. Bollocks.

"I was just on my way to play hockey with him. I'll ask him for you." Australia blinked. This Canada guy was pretty nice. "I suppose I should leave any mentions of America out of it?"

"That'd be great! Thanks bunches." He pulled out his room key, fumbling with the door before getting it unlocked and walking into the room.

"Anything to help out my little brother, eh?" Australia blinked. Canada was his brother? How could he forget something like that? "Good luck getting America's attention, though. He tends to hibernate in the winter."

After a few more minutes of small talk, Australia hung up, tossing the phone on the bed before flopping back on it himself. Apparently he had a team. Now he just had to figure out the rules to these strange competitions of Finland's. How do you even make a team sport out of a snowball fight?


	3. Chapter 3

Just a Little Test 3

Australia sighed in relief as Germany closed the last meeting of the week. He'd met with his team every day after the meetings, and the Snowshoe Football Tournament was going to start in just a few hours. They were going to get together for a team meeting and a light dinner before they headed to the games. Finally, he was a few short days away from the grand prize. He stood, gathering his things in his briefcase when someone walked up behind him. As soon as the hand slammed heavily on his back, he knew who it was. Butterflies danced in his stomach, and he took a second to try to compose himself before trying to talk. The last thing he needed was his mouth getting him in more trouble than usual.

"Hey, Ozzie! You doing anything tonight? Let's go get dinner and watch the game!"

Australia's heart sank into his stomach. He wanted to, so badly. Here he was, working his arse off to get permission with the very person who just invited him out. But there was the principle of the thing; the meaning behind it. This sucked. He laughed it off as he turned to face America. "I wish I could, mate, but I got plans tonight. Can I get a rain check?"

America's smile faltered ever so slightly for a brief moment. "Of course! I'll just ask Canada. He's been complaining we haven't hung out in a while, anyway."

Australia felt himself wince. "He's got plans, too…" America's smile faltered more. This couldn't really be what people meant when they said you always hurt the ones you love, was it?

"Oh. Well…I guess now is as good a time as any to work on improving relations with Rus-"

"Him, too." Australia cringed. He was ruining America's night; the exact opposite of what he wanted! It had to be obvious at this point that something was going on and he was being excluded. How was he going to get America to go out with him when he finally got permission, if he was shutting him out of everything? Why was this whole thing a big mess? "Hey, uhm, we're on this snowshoe soccer tournament that's starting in a coupla hours. I'm busy before it, but…why don't you come watch the game; barrack for us?"

America blinked then smiled. "Sure! I'll come root for you guys."

Australia blinked and stared. He wanted to come root for—Oh! Right, right. Different meaning. Well damn. "You can come root for me anytime."

America's brow raised. "Huh?" Ugh. Stupid! If it took Australia a second to figure it out, of course America wouldn't get it. So much for dirty talk.

"Ah…nevermind. The tourney starts at 6pm in the Hamina Bastioni. Think you can find that, or should I come get you?" 

America waved a hand. "I got a map. I can find it!"

Australia blanched. He knew exactly what America's maps looked like. "You know? I think I'll come get you. Be ready at 4:00; we're getting dinner first." He clapped America's shoulder and turned to leave. He really hoped this would smooth over any feelings of exclusion America might have. The guy really had to be at the center of everything. It was like a complex or something. It was cute. …Sometimes anyway.

America smiled. "Well, I don't have to do anything, so why don't I just come with you now?" He leaned in closer. "I'm sure we can think of a way to pass the time."

Australia felt the blood leave the rest of his body and head to his crotch. "I…oh I wish I could do that, but I have another meeting…"

America leaned in and Australia backed up, feeling his back meet the wall. "You can't skip it?"

Would it be bad if he threw the whole thing out the window and gave in? Because Australia really wanted to do that right now. But then Sunday night dinner with Papa would roll along, and Papa wouldn't approve and America would drop him like a sack of potatoes. Australia groaned, before he reluctantly brought his hands to America's shoulders pushing him away.

"I'll see you at 4. Meet me in the hotel lobby." He started to leave then blinked, coming to a stop. He didn't want America to think he was completely rejecting him! He turned, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "…Bye." He hurried out of the room, not waiting to see how America reacted. He just hoped that he'd actually be in the lobby later.


	4. Chapter 4

Just A Little Test 4

Whose brilliant idea was it to have a team meeting anyway? Not for the first time, Australia found himself checking his watch; as he listened to his teammates discuss strategy. How many ways were there to kick a ball? The needle on his watch moved and he stood up. "I'll meet you at the restaurant and we can finish talking there, eh mates?"

Russia frowned as he leaned back in his seat. "Where are you heading? You have asked us to assist you in winning your match, but you have not participated in the meeting at all. It is like your head is in the clouds, da?"

Australia grinned sheepishly. "Oh, well. I have a lot on my mind." He jumped as a hand clamped down hard on his shoulder.

"Oh sure. Go get your date! We'll be fine for a few minutes without you!" Australia looked up to see Denmark grinning. Did they know? It didn't matter anyway.

"Great! See you at the pub then." He turned, hurrying out of the room and to the elevator. He hoped that it wasn't one of those days that the elevators just took forever. He had to get to the lobby before America did! He heard the bell chime behind him and turned, hurrying into the already crowded box, relieved to see that everyone appeared to be heading to the lobby as well.

It felt like a hot, crowded eternity before the doors opened and he was shoved out into the lobby as the other guests filtered out around Australia. He craned his neck, searching the expanse of the room. Good. He hadn't left America waiting, because America wasn't there yet. Not that he really had to worry about that. He was pretty sure he'd never seen America on time for anything. Not meetings, not wars, and certainly not dates. Australia found a seat and leaned back, watching the news on the lobby's television. It wasn't anything interesting, and every chime from the elevators drew his attention away from it. 

After what felt like another lifetime, America finally emerged from one of the elevators. Right away, Australia noticed two things. First, he noticed that America had frocked up a bit since he'd last seen him, and second, he noticed that the first thing was making him drool a bit. He wasn't even wearing the old bomber jacket he insisted on wearing everywhere, instead opting for a wool naval-styled pea coat. It was a ireally/i good change on him. Australia shook his head and stood, licking his lips before calling out. "Over here, mate!"

America smiled brightly and walked over. "Hey! Sorry I'm late. I was just talking to Finland and lost track of the time!"

Australia didn't let the fact that he was taken aback by the mention of Finland show as he continued to smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Oh? Must have been an interesting conversation then…" He might have been phishing a little. But if there was anything he knew about America, it was that a little push was all it took, as long as it wasn't top secret for national security.

"Yeah! I told him I was going to watch you play snowshoe soccer! He asked why I was only watching, so I explained that your team was already full, but it was okay because I was totally going to help you win by being an awesome cheerleader!"

Australia smiled. So America wasn't bothered by that then. That was good, at least.

"So then he said that I could play on his team, if I still wanted to play. Isn't that great! So I can cheer for you when I'm not playing, and then maybe we'll get to play against each other at the end! It will be great! Oh, but I'm warning you now I'm not going to go easy on you just because I like you. What's the point of playing, if you aren't playing to win, right?"

Australia's eye twitched slightly as he struggled to keep the smile on his face. "…Of course not." Finland; that slimy rat bastard. He knew this would happen, didn't he? And that's why he had Sweden help him fill his team, so that he couldn't ask America to join it. Oh, he was good. But it was no matter. Australia moved an arm around America's shoulders, smirking in smug self-satisfaction when America leaned into him as he started leading him out of the hotel and toward the pub.

Finland might be good, but Australia was better.


	5. Chapter 5

Just a Little Test 5

It would probably be in poor taste to kill Denmark. He was a fellow nation, and Australia was particularly close to him.

"Hey Ozzie! When we lose, can I get first dibs on America? You won't be getting any from him anyway once Finland tells him that he doesn't approve at all of your relationship!"

It's not like anyone would really miss him though, right? Just a little push in front of bus. He could even play it off as an accident!

Australia sighed as some guy that kinda looked like America patted his back. Was he on their team? He kept forgetting.

"Don't listen to him. I don't think you really have to do this at all. It was pretty obvious at dinner that America likes you. And I'd put in a good word for you, which I think he'd agree with over Finland."

Australia looked at the other America. "Thanks…uh…"

Other America sighed. "...I'm Canada."

Oh, right. Canada. The poor bloke needed to make himself more memorable or something. Regardless, it made him feel a little better. "You don't think we'll really end up playing against Finland's team, do you?"

Canada shrugged. "I think it'd be more interesting if we did. I want to give you some advice though." He stopped walking, forcing Australia to do the same as he locked eyes with him. "Do not, under any circumstances, let America win because you want him to like you. Don't do it, no matter what."

Australia blinked and nodded slowly. "Oh she'll be right. I didn't plan on it." He walked up to the crowd that had gathered for the start of the events. "I'll go reg us and meet you over there." He motioned to a relatively empty area. The rest of his team nodded and headed that way to start gearing up for the start of the matches.

Australia pushed his way through the crowd until he reached the registration table. He leaned over and started writing out the roster for his team. A shadow fell over him and loomed there. He finished writing out the names and glanced over his shoulder. 

"Ah! Australia. I see you have a pretty interesting team. I didn't know we were playing hockey."

Australia felt a slight tick in his eye as he stood and turned to look at Finland properly. Sweden was standing with him. It was Sweden that had suggested using these nations on his team. Had he been sabotaged from the start? He had thought that Denmark was just joking about losing, but maybe there was a grain of truth to it.

"I, on the other hand, put together a team that has demonstrated numerous times over that they can play a good game of football." He motioned over his shoulder to where the rest of his team was waiting. America was laughing about something as he slapped England's back. The Netherlands was purposefully ignoring Spain's attempts at friendly conversation. Germany stood off to the side, looking like he didn't really want to be there.

Australia looked back to Finland and smirked. "Oh sure, they can kick a ball around. But can they do it in snowshoes? I'll stick with my team, thanks."

Finland's grin faltered slightly. "Well, I guess we'll see about that when we get to the finals, won't we? That is, if you can even make it that far." He turned, heading back over to his team. Sweden gave the slightest of nods to Australia before turning to follow his partner.

Australia watched them go, frowning. He wasn't going to lose; not to Finland. It was more than just for permission to date America. He had….that other guy's assurance that America would like him no matter what. He walked back over to his team and smirked.

"Alright mates! You can bet London to a brick that we'll have no competition, all the way to the top!"

As his team cheered, revving themselves up for the games, Australia looked over his shoulder, smirking at Finland. This? This was personal.


	6. Chapter 6

Just a Little Test 6

Australia sloshed up to the line marked in the snow as the center spot on the half-way line with Denmark. True to his word, America had been at every one of Australia's matches over the course of the weekend, cheering him on. In turn, Australia had gone to his matches, cheering him on, even as he dreaded each win for Finland's team.

He also hadn't appreciated how some of America's teammates seemed a lot closer to him than necessary. He turned, shooting a glare to where the Netherlands was sitting on the bench at the sidelines, watching America walk to the half-way line with Finland.

"Hey America! Never thought you'd make it this far. Aren't you usually hibernating by now?" Australia glanced over at Denmark; he still couldn't tell whether or not he was trying to sabotage him.

"I am freezing man! I'm gonna need to figure out how to warm up when I get back to the hotel." Australia looked up at America, and grinned a bit when America was looking at him as he said it.

"Oh, well I can think of a few ways to keep warm, mate." He wagged his brows slightly, smirking a bit when America's cheeks flushed more than the cold had already done.

It's too bad Finland was up there, too. "Oh, you should have said something America. Sweden and I are going to the springs to celebrate our victory after this. Why don't you come with us? We were going to invite the Netherlands, too." Him? Finland chose to give his approval to Europe's resident junkie? That was just a kick in the crown jewels. Australia's heart dropped to his stomach when America smiled.

"That sounds awesome! Sure!"

Finland caught Australia's eyes and smirked. "We just have to finish up here. Shouldn't be too hard."

Australia didn't get a chance to reply as the referee blew the whistle and the ball was in play.

True to Australia's predictions, Denmark knew his way around snow, and took control of the ball as soon as Finland kicked it over the line, blowing down the field to where England and Spain were waiting.

Or, rather, should have been waiting.

Australia slowed his jog down the field to a walk as he started at Finland's team. How had they made it to the finals? England and Spain were wrestling in the snow – he could make out faint shouts about the Armada and the Empire; Germany was standing boredly in the goal, and Sweden was watching as America chased futilely after Denmark as Finland yelled for his team to pay attention.

It didn't take long for America to catch up to Denmark, kicking the ball away from and heading back down the field. Australia moved to cut off America if he made it back to the halfway line. England and Spain chose that minute to tumble in America's path.

"America, watch out!" Australia winced as America kicked the ball to Finland, just in time to get tackled from the side by England and Spain. He jogged over quickly, as his teammates crawled out of the dogpile. "Crikey, you're dumb as a box of rocks, aren't ya mate? Why didn't you move out of the way?"

America sat up, rubbing his knee. "I can't turn in these very well, and I was gonna stop after I kicked the ball, but there was ice or something packed underneath, and I guess I put too much weight on the back of my foot, and..well…I was sliding and then we collided."

England stood up, leaning over. "Are you okay, America?" He glared sharply at Spain. "This is all your fault."

Spain balked. "All I said was that you should give back Gibraltar. You're the one that lost his mind over it." 

Finland hurried over with Sweden, pulling Australia aside. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

America waved a hand. "I'm fine! I don't need all this fuss. I just need a minute to relax the muscle." He started to push himself up but was stopped by Sweden, who motioned off field to the Netherlands. Finland nodded his agreement.

"Alright. Let the Netherlands take your place for a few minutes and then you can come back in."

America sulked but nodded. The Netherlands walked over and leaned down, hoisting America to his feet. "Lean on me."

Australia watched, teeth gritting as he watched the Netherlands help America off the field. He turned to look at Finland, who smirked back at him.

"I told you, I wasn't going to make it easy for you; that included throwing in some competition. Now, let's get back to this game. It's your ball." Finland tossed the ball to Australia, with more force than Australia thought the smaller nation was capable of. He watched Finland walk away and glared. He came this far, and he wasn't going to back down now. 


End file.
